PROBIDENTIAL : ONE WORD FOR 2018
2017 STARTED WITH NOTHING BUT FAITH AND A VISION. 2018 ENDED WITH SECURITY AND FORESIGHT.
“Lord, at 30 years old, kung ano man yun’. Yun na yun’ please! (whatever it is, that's it)” Career wise or unwise, Grit, Focus, Tenacity were never in my code. Something some people in my circle frowned upon. Sad but true; From outside looking in, I’ll be concerned too. 2017-18, I was insecure and in doubt, but I had hope.
I graduated 2009. I landed my first job as a Banker but shifted careers and companies then after – faster than the rate you replace your beauty products. For real. I became a hotelier, event planner, and digital marketer. I was a College Graduate with pleasing personality anyway. It was only after 8 years, and 4 careers that I finally had clarity in my calling. Something that has always been present all these years – Beauty. #GGSS
2016 was a great big leap for me. I stayed in LA with the hopes of finding a makeup school to prepare me for my big career shift but ended up encountering God instead – which obviously meant so much more. With nothing (I built my makeup kit so I ended up low in cash. Yolo) but Faith and a Vision, I went back to Manila to study at Australian College of Hair Design and Beauty, and to see what will happen next.
Summer 2017, I landed my first “Beauty” job at Amway. And fast forward to 2018, Unilever.
(ADJ): OCCURRING TO A FAVORABLE TIME. INVOLVING DIVINE FORESIGHT OR INTERVENTION.
I was grateful I found a job right after makeup school, but God had a different plan. Boy, I was in FEAR – from a Beauty Specialist (yeah passion) to an executive post, who won’t be? But God reminded me that “He doesn’t call the qualified, but rather QUALIFIES the CALLED.” Looking back, I realized that every tiny detail that happened this 2018 lead me to where I am now.
(ADJ): A PROCESS OF TESTING OR OBSERVING CHARACTER OR ABILITIES OF A PERSON NEW TO A ROLE.
But then I grew ungrateful. 2018 was a season of character testing for me. As I worked on my new corporate role and tried to sustain my artistry, my insecurities heightened. Some days were joyful, most were desperate. I felt no support or was plainly in denial that there were. Sorry, husband, family, and friends. I felt really fearful I might not make the cut, so I stopped blogging (thus the hiatus) and doubted my artistry. My past rejection issues re-flourished, which added to the drama. I managed to stain glass my self-doubts with busyness. I stayed away from church because I felt like they all too are “seasonal”. Sorry guys, if in case you noticed. I was in the brink of cutting ties, because there were questions that still left me hurting.
ON TO 2019 : HOPE
And then there was, hope. Sometime 2018, a friend told me and I’m eternally grateful: “You explored. You gave yourself options. Risky but brave.” I felt secure hearing that. Some people will never understand my career choices, but who cares. You can’t be sure until you try, right? Wandering in my desert was an experiential journey that prepared me in entering my promised land.
I still have battles, and so much to conquer ahead of me. By the grace of God, hopefully I’ll be a better, more secure wife, mom, daughter, friend, woman. I decided to stop worrying, control my emotions, drop the drama, continue blogging, improve my makeup skills, and focus on my calling. I realized that my meaningful relationships are actually from church. I realized I have nothing to boast or even sulk, because apart from God, I have nothing. I realized that God is my foresight, and with that I have nothing to fear. 2018 was tough, and the years ahead might be tougher. But then again there is, and will always be, hope.
Holding on to God’s promises and embracing my calling,