Reclaiming Your Crown: 

After a Betrayal

Betrayal has its way of changing more than relationships. 

It makes you question your judgment, and your worth. 

It steals your peace long after the incident has passed. 

Sometimes the deepest wound isn't what was taken from you, but in realizing that the person you deeply trusted and cared about chose to hurt you.

I recently experienced that firsthand. Some people I trusted took something that wasn't theirs and even accused me of the very thing they had done. Losing a possession sure was hard. But losing trust, that is harder. 

Re-reflecting the Character of God 

When we've been wronged, it is just natural to want justice; or as "good" humans, be merciful. 

But I believe that  justice does not mean vengeance, and mercy does not mean pretending that nothing happened. 

Reflecting God's character then means pursuing what is right, while refusing bitterness to take root. 

Micah 6:8 reminds us to "act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God." He will guide you in knowing what needs to be restored, what needs to be protected, and what needs to be released into His hands. 

Redefining Good 

Love, loyalty, and hope - these are good. But sometimes, “good” things can blind us. 

Good isn't weakness. Good isn't tolerating abuse. Good  isn't enabling sin. 

Good can look like speaking the truth. Good can look like setting healthy boundaries. Good can look like prioritizing peace and your well-being. 

I urge you to be brave. Though painful, when truth surfaces, it also brings freedom. God doesn’t shame you for being hurt. Instead, He draws closer to you in it.

Re-doing Everything in Love

“Do everything in Love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14) 

Paul, when he wrote this, was providing guidance to the church in Corinth as they faced various tensions within their community. Love (“agape” love which is selfless and sacrificial), is what sets us apart as followers of Christ. 

Though how unfair it may feel, love means still protecting the other party’s dignity by keeping matters private. Not because the other person deserves it, but because it's what Jesus wants. In Mathew 18:15-17, Jesus instructs, "If your brother sins against you, go and confront him privately. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 

The end goal is always restoration. Deal with it among yourselves first. Avoid gossip that can cause further hurt and division.  

Reconnect with Community

Yes, betrayal came through relationships, but so as healing. Through the right kind of relationships that is. Isolation may feel safe, but it keeps wounds from fully healing. Talking about the never ending cycle of overthinking, self-pity, and confusion. Vulnerability with the right people restores. It reminds us that what you feel is valid, you are not alone, and you are still worthy of love.

The truth is, you might never get the apology you want. But peace isn’t found in their remorse, but in God’s presence. The kind of peace that is real and available. The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, that guards our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7) 

This isn’t the end of your story, it's a plot twist! Your crown may have slipped, but it hasn’t been taken. If this blog hits home, I see you. More importantly, God sees you. 

Reclaiming My Crown,

Nica 👑 

“You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God.” 

Isaiah 62:3 (ESV)