Reclaiming Your Crown: After a New Baby (or a New Season)

They say motherhood changes you. But no one really talks about what it’s like to have another baby after a looooong gap, 11 years to be exact — especially when you feel like you’re finally in your career prime, finally confident with who you are, finally building the life you once only dreamed about.

Reclaiming your crown is a journey on how I'm rediscovering the woman I used to be, and how I'm learning to evolve into a more intentional woman I (hopefully) am becoming.

I’M STARTING DEEPER, NOT STARTING OVER

I’m reminding myself that I'm not a newbie. I’m a seasoned queen. 

I can love my child and love my career.

I can serve my family and still serve my purpose.

My body may be different, and so is my way of life and thinking. 20s and 30s feel almost like different lifetimes. But instead of chasing the old overly-competitive version of me, I’ve decided to own my identity, accept my limits, and thrive purely on the grace of God.

In my 20s, becoming a mom felt like a never ending process of learning while riding the norms and expectations society was throwing at moms. Oh the mom guilt! Breastfeeding, keeping your kids strapped and behave, adding extra extracurriculars, juggling schedules, all while mommying in heels.

This time (I guess time alone has changed), it feels like I’m forgiving, not forcing. I'm unlearning, relearning, learning - all at the same time. I’m creating an entirely new parenting style that works best for my family and me, while keeping things grounded in the whole point of why we parent: to make Jesus known—His values and His calling—clear and loud.

Wear Your Thinking Crown 👑

What lie/s about motherhood, womanhood, or work are you ready to let go of?

Complete this statement: I’m no longer chasing ________. I am now embracing _______.”

I’M EMBRACING GRACE, NOT PERFECTION

Rest is essential. Pivoting is smart. Asking for help is a strength. Though routines will work for most, it became frustrating for me. So I started accepting that I will always feel overwhelmed and inadequate in so many areas, and became open to much needed help I can get. Only then that I realized that I actually had, and still have, a great support system. 

My second pregnancy was incredibly challenging. I gave birth through emergency c-section to an underweight 34-wk preemie. So I can have enough rest and recovery, my parents kept the house clean, did the laundry, and cooked us home-cooked meals; while my husband and I took turns in taking care of baby Duke and Kuya Prince. Our family, friends, and church community also extended their support, generously rallying us with their prayers.

I know this isn't everyone’s reality, and it's my hope that all mothers can find a strong support system, whether through family, friends, or their church community, who can not just offer help, but will also speak life, not pressure. 

Wear Your Thinking Crown 👑

• What activities do you want to build into your life? (e.g. quiet morning, Sunday reset, midday walks)

• In what areas do you need help but haven’t asked for it yet?

THE CROWN WAS NEVER LOST 

So here I am — relearning who I am as I navigate this new season. It’s not easy, but it’s beautiful and all worth it. 

I believe our stories aren’t just for us. If you’re reading this and feeling the joy and the grief, the excitement and the overwhelm — you’re not alone.

You are exactly where you’re meant to be. Your crown still fits. And it’s time you wear it again. (And a new lipstick won’t hurt.)

Reclaiming My Crown,

Nica 👑

“You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God.” Isaiah 62:3 (ESV)